Trust.

“The world is too big to never ask why.” – “Lifeline” Mat Kearney

Grey area. We don’t like it. We seek to eliminate it, searching for clarity in our lives. We like situations and relationships to be black and white. When they are, we feel balanced. Life seems to make more sense when we understand why things happen the way they do.

I find myself trying to eliminate the grey area all the time. Analyzing and overanalyzing things to make sense of situations that may never be cut and dry. The wheels in my brain entertain all possibilities, hopping from one scenario to another, with a mission to eliminate the grey.

But why? Why do I need to understand it all? Is there always an answer?

Sometimes, there’s not. Sometimes it’s just easier to let it be. Don’t get me wrong, asking “why?” can be invaluable. It keeps us searching for knowledge. It keeps us from becoming complacent. It helps us find better ways of doing things.

But sometimes, I just need to accept uncertainty. I’m a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason.” So, maybe asking “why?” isn’t necessary all the time. Maybe the answer will reveal itself down the road. For this reason, I’m challenging myself to balance the “why?” and the “let it be” better. I started this journey awhile ago and it’s brought more peace to my life.

So don’t stop questioning, just question wisely. And as for the rest of it? Let it be. Peace will follow.

Invest wisely.

“The way you invest your love, you invest your life.” -Mumford & Sons “Awake My Soul”

In the advent of a new year, everyone scrambles to throw together resolutions, usually for the sake of following the age old tradition. Year after year, I follow suit, setting goals that are fairly surface and bound to be broken. By March, I simply find myself off track and have forgotten what I’d originally set out to accomplish.

This year, I’ve come up with something a little bit different. I’m not going to call this a New Year’s resolution. I’m going to call this more of a “life wake up call.”

Invest wisely.

No, I’m not talking about investing in the stock market or mutual funds. I’m talking about investing love: Love for family, love for friends, love for myself.

This past year has brought many changes to my life: graduation, an interim move back to Sioux Falls, the beginning of my Alabama adventure of grad school and job, and all the adjustment periods in between. In the midst of these changes, my investments changed as well. The amount of love never lessened, but my way of showing that love did from time to time.

In the hustle and bustle of each day, it’s easy to stop investing to the fullest because we’re so overwhelmed with what’s on our plate. A new job, new surroundings, a new way of life. We’re constantly trying to get our lives in order, spending time on things that don’t always invest back into us. These things we’ve invested into may fade, and at the end of the day, what we’re left with are the people and relationships we’ve put our time and energy into.

So the goal is to invest more love into family, friends, and myself. This may mean picking up the phone, even though I’m not much of a phone chatter. It means sending more cards and emails “just because.” It means taking time daily to do things for myself, like writing and listening to music, instead of being bombarded with work and school.

While I’ve always thought of myself as a thoughtful person, it’s become more evident how important these relationships are and how much love I should invest into them. They’ve been the rock in the midst of all these life changes and will continue to be my stronghold.

“The way you invest your love, you invest your life.” So invest wisely.

Roll with the punches.

In the words of that catchy Chumbawamba song from the 90’s “I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down…”

Okay, maybe it’s borderline cheesy to quote a subpar musical “talent” in the opening line of an entry, but hey, it works for my purposes and direction of this post. As some of you know, I’ve had some changes in the area of my Graduate Assistantship at the University of Alabama. Midway through the volleyball season, I was told that come the end of the season, there would no longer be a Director of Operations position due to our move to our new facility (long story, inquire if you want the details).

Boom.

Shock, anger, sadness, and disbelief ran through me as I was told the news. This position, which was the whole reason I’d packed up and headed south, was suddenly nonexistent. As I tried to figure out my next move, my rationality bounced all over the place.

Do I stay and work at a job I didn’t originally sign up for, continuing to pay a hefty chunk for the difference between out of state/in state tuition? Do I leave Alabama to find a GA position that pays full tuition? Do I try to find a volleyball job elsewhere and continue my Masters as a later time?

In the wake of all these decisions, I was told that Alabama would continue to pay my in state tuition, but that I’d work under a “Women’s/Minority GA” scholarship. I’d basically bounce around the athletic department and no longer be affiliated with a sport. I started contacting former volleyball coaches and contacts for guidance and possible job opportunities. Initially, I was so set on working with volleyball that the option of this new GA position didn’t even seem appealing.

After a few weeks of talking with my support system and letting everything settle, the silver lining finally appeared: I have the opportunity to explore other areas of athletics at one of the most successful institutions. I can finally expand my experiences beyond volleyball and find other avenues I want to pursue in the future. Volleyball operations is such a narrow field and although I really enjoy it, I need to expand my job experiences to make myself marketable in the competitive area of collegiate athletics.

Although I’d never call myself an eternal optimist, I feel myself being pulled that way more and more. I take comfort in knowing that everything happens for a reason. There’s a reason I took the GA position with volleyball and trekked 20 hours from home to start a new life. Maybe it was to show me that volleyball operations isn’t what I want to do forever. Maybe it was to lead me to this new GA position, working with new departments and making new networks. Or maybe it was simply to show me how I can be resilient in the face of a challenge.

Whatever decisions you may be facing, always know there’s a silver lining. It may take awhile to reveal itself, but trust me, it’s out there. It may not be on your timeline, which is something that’s been hard for me to accept (hello, Type A personality). But while you’re waiting for that revelation, simply roll with the punches and the rest will take care of itself. Roll Tide.